When I first shared this transformation picture, I was honestly scared. What would people think if I told them I used to drink and party in college? What would people think if they knew I was super unhappy, and eating like shit at one point in my life? I think one thing that’s so misunderstood in my industry is that we always have to put up a front. We are strong women who are looked at as leaders – so we can’t show when we are dealing with something. We can’t show weakness because we are supposed to be showing strength. But what I’ve learned over the years is that being vulnerable DOES NOT make you weak. In fact….it’s just another method of sharing that makes you more human and relatable. It’s tougher to show your true feelings than always put on a calculated front. I used to shy away from the vulnerability. I basically just did what I was told would yield me the best results on social media (which at the time was post a pretty picture with a nice positive caption). Sounds simple…..right? I don’t know about you – but when I read things from a social account that only has motivational quotes and perfect pictures – I feel lost. Who is this person? What are they about? What have they struggled with? I ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW MORE!
I struggle with being vulnerable because I’m extremely hard on myself. I expect perfection from myself because that’s how I was raised. I had to be a “grown up” from a pretty young age. My dad passed away when I was 6 years old so I was almost forced to grow up fast and fend for myself. I mostly just wanted to make him so proud. I always wonder if life would have been different if I had a Dad. My mom did an incredible job raising my brother, sister, and I. In fact, I honestly DO NOT KNOW HOW SHE DID IT. She has made me the women I am today. But I do wonder how things would have been different if my Dad was here. Would I have chose a different career path? Would I have grown up with more money or more opportunities? Would I have made the same decision? I honestly don’t know. But I do sometimes close my eyes and wonder.
I got a job when I was 15 (basically the minimum legal age in Arizona to make minimum wage). I worked after school hours, played 2 sports, and maintained a 3.8 GPA at an all girls private school – which was no easy feat. I graduated college with honors in 3 years instead of 4. I had my first real salary job before I even graduated college. I’ve constantly pushed for more and tried to be perfect in every area in my life. I’m not telling you all this to brag and say….”hey look at what I did.” In fact, just the opposite. Because of this growth at a young age, I feel years behind in emotional growth. I tried to never show emotion and if I did it was usually because I was actually hurt (an injury, a death, the obvious emotional things) – and even then, I didn’t spend much time grieving. I probably shoved some of this down or tried to put on a brave face because that’s what I felt I had to do.
Now, more than ever before – I have this extreme pull to be exactly who I am. To feel exactly what I feel. And to share that with all of you. Being vulnerable…in my opinion, MAKES YOU STRONGER. It proves you are comfortable in your own skin (which is a never ending process). I will always strive to share a little more of the “real stuff” with you guys. in hopes that I can convince you to do the same even if it feels uncomfortable.
I remember a few years back sharing my first “vulnerable post.” I don’t remember exactly what the contents were, but I do know that I was SCARED SHITLESS to hit the post button. What would people think? What would people say? What would my clients think? Would they fire me because they want a stronger person? These are all questions that flew through my mind before hitting post. I remember this HUGE SIGH of relief when I hit the post button. Because I knew that what I was saying was exactly what I wanted people to know. People know I’m a trainer. People know I’m fit. People know I can motivate. People know I can inspire. BUT WHAT DON’T THEY KNOW?
What are your “givens?” (things people know about you already).
What are your “unknowns?” (things maybe the general population doesn’t know about you).
I wrote this blog because I want to this to feel like a safe space to share! I always encourage my clients (be it virtual clients doing the Kick-Ass Training Guide, or in person clients) to get uncomfortable. So if uncomfortable means, posting a before photo – I encourage you to JUST DO IT. Make it a goal to share one of those “unknowns” soon. Maybe you feel compelled today after reading this? Maybe it’s going to take you a while. Do it on your own timeline. My rule of thumb is “what’s the worst that can happen?” I’m a huge believer in asking myself this in many different scenarios, but especially the “sharing on social” scenario. When I first asked myself this in regards to posting something vulnerable, here’s what I came up with. People would think I was weak. People would make fun of me. People would unfollow me. People wouldn’t look to me for motivation anymore. You know what? I was proved completely WRONG.
All of these things couldn’t be further from what actually happened. I got more likes and more comments on that one post than I ever had before. People were engaged in what I had to say and drew inspiration from what I saw to be a weakness. WHAT A COINCIDENCE?? Ever since that moment, I will always choose vulnerability! And even though I still have my days where I cringe before I hit post….I’m actively doing it on the regular. Even if it feels funny or weird or uncomfortable.
We are strong because of OUR STORIES! We should walk boldly on our path and own exactly what it is we are. I have plenty of insecurities and topics I haven’t even touched on yet. I think it helps to talk about them and that’s why I’m here doing what I do. I can only hope that more of you feel compelled to share after having read this and more posts in the future from me. I have a lot more to share and I can’t wait to do just that…..in due time.
Speaking of being vulnerable. I’m launching a 6 week challenge on April 3rd with my Kick-Ass Training Guide. If you want to join the 6 week transformation and have massive accountability and motivation while you’re doing it – JOIN NOW! All you need to do is purchase the KATG, JOIN THE CLOSED FACEBOOK GROUP, AND GET STARTED ON YOUR TRANSFORMATION!
If you missed my 3 FREE workouts blog, you can check that out here.
XO,
Danielle
